“Nightline” Showcases Vile Female “Comic” Who Proves — With A Vengeance — Proverbs 11:22
“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” — Proverbs 11:22.
By John Lofton, Editor
Commenting on this Scripture, the great Puritan Bible scholar Matthew Henry says, in part, that “a woman without discretion is a woman of a loose and dissolute conversation….a foolish wanton woman, of a light carriage, is fitly compared to a swine, though she be ever so handsome, wallowing in the mire of filthy lusts, with which the mind and conscience are defiled, and, though washed, returning to them.”
Amen! And this verse came to mind when I watched a recent edition of ABC’s “Nightline” which, for some strange reason, with all that’s going on in the world, chose to call attention to Susie Essman, “a stand-up comic.” The title of this segment was “Seriously Funny; Filthy And Funny.” But the egregious Essman was anything but funny. Filthy, yes. But, not funny. In fact, she was unrelievedly disgusting and vile.
First, we see her in scenes from her HBO cable show called “Curb Your Enthusiasm” — something easy to do since she is so nauseating and revolting. In almost every scene we see, it seems as if every other word is bleeped. Reporter Bill Weir says of Essman: “She is the most foul-mouthed woman in sitcom history.” He describes her HBO character as “a wickedly funny combination of Ethel Mertz, Don Rickles, maybe a little Al Pacino from ‘Scarface.’” But, again, funny, no; wicked, yes.
Co-anchor Martin Bashir says of Essman, in one of the greatest understatements ever made on national TV, “her comedy routine is close to and sometimes crosses the line.” He adds, amazingly, that we are being exposed to this toilet-tongued, garbage-mouth to “lighten the mood just a little on this Friday evening.”
We see Essman saying, about her HBO program, “the dialogue’s completely improvised. All that filth that comes out of mouth, I make it up.” Not surprisingly, we’re told that she “spent two decades working the comedy club stages of New York City.” Walking back-and-forth prior to going on stage, she says: “My pre-show ritual involves nausea, and I pace.”
I know how she feels. I also felt nausea as I watched her.
Reporter Weir, obviously, likes what Essman does. At one point, he says, admiringly: “Like her TV work, Susie’s stand-up act is improvisation. She takes the stage with very few written jokes and begins a rambling conversation, filled with profanely insightful observations.” He adds, preposterously: “She has the keen ability to talk about things most people think about. But would never say out loud.”
For-the-record: Not one thing Essman says is even remotely, by any definition, “insightful.” And God bless “most people!” Because most of what Essman says should not be said out loud. And what she has is not an “ability” but a disability! I purposely avoid saying she is “sick” because what causes her to spew her filth is not an illness or a disease but her reprobate, unregenerate, desperately wicked heart.
We see former standup comic Richard Belzer say about Essman, with a straight face: “I love just when she talks to the audience. She’s one of the best of the off-the-cuff comedians in the business.” Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! If Essman is “one of the best” of this type of comic, I hope I never see and hear one of the worst!
Reporter Weir says: “Never married but now in a long-term relationship, Essman mines the richest comedy gold from which she calls the male-female thing.” No way — more like “Fool’s Gold,” I’d say. And my sincerest sympathies go out to the poor soul with whom this wretch has this “long-term relationship.”
Essman says: “Men are so completely different than women. We hate each other, we love each other. We want each other. We can’t stand, you know, there’s just so much constantly going on between us. And the bottom line is, it’s in the DNA, it’s primordial. You know, I’m sure there were caveman comedians talking about the same thing. Take my wife by the hair, please.”
An evolutionist. It figures.
And in what Weir would, I guess, call one of Essman’s “insightful observations,” she says: “Stand-up is this, this incredibly powerful art form. And, and because it’s based in anger a lot of times, I think, a lot of women don’t feel comfortable with that kind of anger. And I think it holds them back from being really great comedians that they could be. If they just embraced their inner hostility, all by yourself, you and that mic. But I think that it’s a difficult thing for a lot of women to do because there’s something unlady-like about it.”
Something “unlady-like” about what she does? Well, yes, which is a little like saying the Titanic took on a little water during its maiden voyage.
Weir tells us — again, not surprisingly — that Essman “believes that some of the most successful female stand-up comediennes are lesbians, and for good reason.” Says Essman:
“I think that gay women are more comfortable embracing that kind of anger and power than straight women. You know, we’re taught, ‘little girls, be a nice little girl, you know, be pretty and dainty and be a nice little girl.’ And you’re not supposed to have opinions. You know, you, I remember when I was a teenager, you know, ‘Don’t be funnier than the boys. The boys won’t like you if you’re funnier than them. Don’t be smarter than the boys, they won’t like you if you’re smarter than them.’”
But, Essman is neither nice, pretty, dainty, funny nor smart.
Finally, we see Essman verbally abusing reporter Weir telling him something that is bleeped. Like an idiot — no, he is an idiot — Weir grins stupidly and bears it.
At the beginning of this awful, hideous “Nightline” segment, co-anchor Bashir says something that is very true. He says, about Essman, in part: “And if you’ve never heard of her, well, after tonight, chances are, you won’t forget her.” So, true. I won’t forget her just like I won’t forget the first time I saw a dog eating his own vomit (II Peter 2:22).